Summer is waning, the crickets are singing, and it’s time to get ready for the next year in religious education programs! The Fall issue of The Tote Bag: Religious Education and Family Resources is here to support getting ready for children, youth, and intergenerational programs in meetings. This includes new resources to support middle school engagement, explore Bible stories with children, and how to talk together with young people about election issues. With the upcoming election in November, staff have been thinking about how to support families and young people to feel grounded in our testimonies of integrity and peace. Two specific events for adults and children/youth are happening this fall. Read on!
[Read more…] about Religious Education Resources & Events Fall 2024
Friends Who Care For Youth
Supporting Children and Teens After Violence in the News
How do we talk to children and adolescents about gun violence and senseless tragedy? Parents and caregivers are helping their children process their feelings alongside their own, and signs of anxiety are different in children and adolescents when compared with adults. Pastoral care for children begins with pastoral care for their caregivers, and the resources below are offered to support parents and caregivers, educators, and Friends who care for and work with youth. A concern about election violence led to the creation of this event in October for families — Peace Begins with You: A Gathering for Children & Families — and we hope you will share this community gathering and the resources below with your meeting.
Processing in Developmentally Appropriate Ways
Children and teens will have different exposure to and understanding of violent incidents, and may feel anxiety, confusion, fear, sadness, or anger, and have questions about what they see and hear in the media and from friends. Children cannot always articulate their feelings, and they may show us how they are feeling through play or behaviors. Their anxiety may show up as: anger, negativity, difficulty sleeping (particularly falling asleep), defiance, and lack of focus. For adolescent youth, symptoms of anxiety may include recurring fears and worries about routine parts of everyday life, irritability, trouble concentrating, withdrawal, and complaints about stomachaches or headaches.
* Some practical advice for parents and caregivers
- Parents and adults need to first deal with and assess their own responses to crisis and stress.
- In PYM, adults seeking support can reach out to the Friends Counseling Service.
- Try and keep routines as normal as possible. Children gain security from the predictability of routine, including attending school.
- Be present. Listen to your children’s fears and concerns.
- Depending on their age, limit exposure to television and the news but be honest with kids and share with them as much information as they are developmentally able to handle with simple, honest answers.
- Reassure kids that the world is a good place to be (individuals are responsible for violent actions).
- Reaffirm attachments and relationships.
Resources for Adults Supporting Children and Teens
- Spiritual Practices for Use During a Traumatic News Event from Traci Smith
- Talking to Children About Gun Violence from Everytown for Gun Safety
- Talking to young children about community violence from Sesame Workshop
- Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators from the National Association of School Psychologists
- Helping your children manage distress in the aftermath of a shooting from the American Psychological Association
- Isaiah and the Worry Pack — Learning to Trust God with All Our Fears by Ruth Goring
- A Kids Book About Anxiety by Ross Szabo from the “A Kids Book About” series. The inside covers suggests, ”This book is best read together, grownup and kid.”
Making Faithful Practices Available
Children need us to hear their concerns, and we can provide reassurance even if we do not have answers. Lifting up our worry and anxiety in prayer is another way to acknowledge those feelings and place them in the care of our Quaker faith. These coloring pages “Prayers For When You Feel Anxious” includes both suggested prayers and three different sets of images for mindful coloring. This lesson plan about meeting for worship suggests that our worship as Friends is a container that is strong enough to hold big feelings —even hard ones—and the lesson could be adapted to help process recent events and heavy hearts, alongside encouragement to continue finding the Light in our world.
Election Violence Prevention: Youth Programs
The guidance below for “Youth Programming” comes from Friend Emily Provance (a traveling minister from New York Yearly Meeting) and the Election Violence Prevention series she has created.
Featured strategy: Youth Programming
What the strategy means: There are three ways to approach this strategy: (1) encouraging teens and young adults to engage in the political process nonviolently, (2) empowering teens and young adults as leaders in the nonviolent movement, and (3) holding peaceful social events for teens and young adults during “flashpoint” moments, such as the day of an election or inauguration. How this strategy prevents election violence: Young adults and teens are often perpetrators of election violence, but this is often because older people have intentionally encouraged them to be violent. Empowering youth to take and even lead nonviolent actions means that they are much less likely to be convinced that violence is their best avenue for change.
Action Steps:
These are things that you can do to enact or promote election monitoring and mapping. Which one sounds like a good match for young people you know, and for you?
- For shepherd people (gifted in leading or organizing groups): Create or visit a youth forum, small or large, of teens and young adults. Support them in learning about and actively practicing nonviolent strategies for the political changes that they want to see.
- For relationship people (folks who are good at conversations and making friends): Ask some young people for their thoughts about the upcoming election cycle. Engage in conversation. What do they believe is likely to happen? How does that feel? Do they have concerns? Do they have ideas for action?
- For word people (talented writers and/or speakers): See if you can find a high school or university class or club to which you can speak about the election cycle and ways to engage in political change nonviolently.
- For prayer people (spiritual grounded intercessors): Pray for young people in particular throughout the election cycle. When the opportunity arises, invite young people you know to pray actively for nonviolence.
- For motion people (naturally physically active doers): Consider holding a sports tournament on a Saturday or several weekends in a row. During breaks and over snacks, talk about the election cycle and the influence young people can have on nonviolence in their communities.
- For learning people (research ninjas and data analyzers): Find out what, if anything, your local schools are teaching in terms of voter and civic education.
- For creative people (artists, musicians, performers, and crafters): Find an opportunity to hold a creative workshop of some sort for young people, either by organizing a group or by being a guest artist for an existing group. Use election violence prevention as your theme.
Image: Pixabay.com
Spring Family Overnight Recap
On the cool, spring Saturday afternoon of Mother’s Day weekend, seventeen families met at Camp Dark Waters in Medford, NJ for PYM’s Spring Family Overnight. Nearly sixty Friends stepped joyfully onto the sandy forest floor. PYM Youth Staff Crystal Hershey, Abigaile Brace-Higgins, and Elizabeth Croce were there to welcome and direct them to their cabins. Children from ages 4-13 years old got busy playing with the tether ball, building sandcastles, and playing ping pong. Families paddled canoes around the lake. After settling in and playing, everyone got into a large circle for a game of The Big Wind Blows. Then CDW guides led multigenerational team building games. Families had to work together and think creatively through challenges that involved balance, stealth, speed, and trust. The Big Swing (a very long rope hanging from a very large tree) was a favorite activity. Friends wearing harnesses and helmets held the rope tightly, and bravely swung out over the lake!
Everyone worked up an appetite, so a team of Friends prepared dinner together in the kitchen. A fantastic feast of tacos, burritos, nachos, wraps, beans, and rice provided something for every taste! With full bellies, Friends snuggled around a campfire. There’s always room for s’mores! Children told scary stories, giggled, and played with flashlights until it was finally time for bed. No one wanted the beautiful day to end.
Campers awoke to the gentle sound of raindrops falling on the forest leaves. Warming up with coffee, hot chocolate, a big breakfast banquet of bagels, eggs, sausages, fruit, and yogurt was wonderful. Then it was time for Worship. Friends gathered outside under the shelter of the raised dining hall, sitting in a large circle on the sand. Many warm thoughts and loving stories about mothers and caregivers were shared out of the silence. At the rise of Worship, there was a birthday celebration for a 7-year-old. Cupcakes and song made a marvelous finish to a fantastic weekend together.
Many more opportunities for families to connect will be available in the future! Save the date for our next gathering – a PYM Family Day at Pendle Hill on Saturday, September 21. More detailed information will be available soon on the Youth Programs page of the PYM website.
PYM Young Friends Launches Brand-New Program for 8th-12th Graders
Why Join Young Friends?
Hey teens! This is Tara and Clare, the co-facilitators for the super awesome, brand-new program for 8th-12th graders. We know spring is a busy season and you might be wondering whether this program is something you really want to make time for. So let us tell you a little bit more about the program and about us! [Read more…] about PYM Young Friends Launches Brand-New Program for 8th-12th Graders
Winter Family Overnight at Camp Onas
On February 10 – 11, twenty Friends gathered at Camp Onas for PYM’s Winter Family Overnight! Crystal Hershey and Abigaile Brace-Higgins, PYM Children & Families CoFacilitators, planned and facilitated the event. As everyone arrived over the course of the afternoon, they opened their arms to one another for big hugs! After hauling luggage into cozy bedrooms, it was time to explore the grounds. The youth went straight to the tire swing and long rope swing hanging from huge old trees. There were trails to hike outdoors, art crafting tables in the common room, and air hockey to play in the game room. Everyone gathered in a circle outside for a game of “The Big Wind Blows.” There was a lot of laughing and chasing one another around! [Read more…] about Winter Family Overnight at Camp Onas
Tuition Aid for Quaker Children in PYM Friends Schools
The Yearly Meeting’s Quaker Education Granting Group reminds meetings and families that local meeting members’ children who are applying to or attending Friends schools are eligible to apply for educational support for the 2024-25 school year. Funding for all grants comes from the National Friends Education Fund and Philadelphia Yearly Meeting endowment income from the Jonathan Rhoads Fund and other PYM education endowments. [Read more…] about Tuition Aid for Quaker Children in PYM Friends Schools
Religious Education Resources & Events for Winter
In this issue of the The Tote Bag: PYM Religious Education and Family Resources newsletter we’re preparing for winter and seasonal holidays and focusing on our testimony of peace.
[Read more…] about Religious Education Resources & Events for Winter
Completing the Circle: Accompaniment and Belonging
All along the way there has been God’s Grace. Matt and I started out as, “father and son,” and now we are like brothers. (Journal entry, September 8th, 2023)
I met Matt Rosen at Pendle Hill. He was there for the spring term, 2023. He was totally different from what I had expected. As a philosophy major, coming from Oxford University, and as the Cadbury Scholar, I assumed he would be highly intellectual, very aloof, and difficult for me to make connections with. Instead, I met a young man who had a strong intellectual gift, but was clearly following his heart as well, and had two feet firmly on the ground. As it turned out, our faith journeys were very similar, despite our age difference (four decades!) and we soon became close friends.
We were both brought up in suburban Quaker Meetings, even in the same Quarter! We both struggled as youth, trying to understand the Quaker Meeting for Worship and not finding the strength within ourselves to be, “good Quakers.” We both left Quakers looking for answers elsewhere. We were both totally turned off by religion and found it empty and meaningless. We were both spoken to deeply within by a Power greater than our own. Both of us were drawn to read early Quaker writings and found real Life and Hope in them. Both of us were “convinced” deeply by an experience of Jesus as our Living Teacher, within us, and among us. We both returned to Friends to try to share our experiences and call Friends to connect to the vital faith in our roots. Pretty amazing. I was gobsmacked!
Matt and I visited the Friends Historical Library at Swarthmore College. He was working on a paper about Quaker “convincement,” what it means, and how it relates to membership. I suggested we take a break and explore the new cafeteria building. As we were looking around, a staff member came up to greet us and asked if we were enjoying our visit. He clearly thought that we were a father and son, looking at Swarthmore on a college tour. From that point on at Pendle Hill, Matt was referred to as my son. My wife, Verona, also “adopted” Matt. He quickly became a part of our family.
It was hard to say goodbye (after six weeks) when Matt left to go back to Oxford. Not long afterwards, an unexpected email arrived saying that Matt was, “feeling called to travel in the ministry” and visit meetings in the Oxford area. I shared the email with Verona and she said, “You have to go!” Friends at Middletown Meeting agreed, and some of them even offered financial support for the trip. So, with some trepidation, I wrote back and asked Matt if he had a traveling companion (elder) to go with him. I told him that I might know someone who is interested. He wrote back encouraging me to come.
This began a journey together that provided an extraordinary opportunity for us both. It helped Matt to, “find his voice,” and it helped me to close a circle and find my way forward.
I had been called to travel in the ministry among Friends as a young man (around Matt’s age) and didn’t know what this meant or how to proceed. Some older friends had encouraged me and traveled with me to help me find my way. Now I could do this for Matt. Coincidence? To me it felt like it was a gift from a Divine Hand, something I had never planned or anticipated.
[Read more…] about Completing the Circle: Accompaniment and Belonging
PYM Celebrates World Quaker Day During A Super Quaker Weekend
As Friends around the globe gathered to celebrate World Quaker Day, PYM Friends joined in on the festivities, attending and even volunteering at events throughout the Delaware Valley and Upper Susquehanna regions hosted by monthly and quarterly meetings. There was truly something for everyone! So, how did you celebrate World Quaker Day this year?
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It’s A Super Quaker Weekend!
Get ready for a Super Quaker Weekend! During the last weekend in September, PYM Youth Staff will be joining in youth and family-centered events throughout the region, leading up to World Quaker Day on Sunday, October 1st, hosted by our friends at Friends World Committee for Consultation (FWCC). No matter where you are located within PYM, there’s something for everyone to enjoy and participate in during this Fall weekend. All are welcome! [Read more…] about It’s A Super Quaker Weekend!
