The Following is Attributed to Emily Provance of New York Yearly Meeting and other individual Friends, some of whom are part of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting.
This epistle comes from the Friends that participated in the recent conversation circles about the life cycle of meetings, which were open to any Friend from anywhere for free. I assembled the epistle using comments submitted by group members for that purpose. It’s a little disjointed because it wasn’t created as a single, cohesive piece of writing–but there are some things in it that I hope other Friends will hear.
To Friends Everywhere:
Between December of 2025 and March of 2026, 107 Friends participated in a series of online conversations about the life cycle of meetings. We come from sixty different local faith communities, affiliated with seventeen different yearly meetings and located in seven different countries. Some of us wanted to talk about committee structures, some about buildings and property. Some of us came to talk about laying meetings down. And some of us were simply looking for conversations about the experience of very small but still healthy local meetings and churches.
The conversation circles were structured in a way that made space for connections and sharing experiences with other Friends. Getting to know each other directly across time zones, yearly meeting boundaries, theological branches, and countries made us feel supported, like we were part of a broad network of Friends. This kind of interaction allowed us to learn about other meetings and their practices. We gave each other suggestions, brainstormed solutions to problems, discovered new resources, and cheered each other on.
Many of us were surprised to learn how many meetings are having the same struggles that ours is. It can feel lonely and sometimes hopeless trying to figure things out in isolation, but in these conversations, we found that we were not alone. We also each had the chance to share what’s going right in our meeting or church, and it was great to be able to celebrate that and let others learn from us.
Although different groups were talking about different kinds of changes in meetings, there were a few things we learned that feel really valuable to all of us and that we wanted to pass on:
- We do not have to maintain the same institutional structures that we have right now. The institution is meant to support the community, not the other way around. If the structure isn’t supporting us anymore, we can change it.
- Start with the big picture. Consider as a whole meeting where you are really called to go. Then focus on questions like “who” and “how.”
- Things that feel easy to one person don’t feel easy to another. If something feels easy to you, that might be a gift that you can offer to your community. Start with people’s gifts and let those direct the tasks that people take on. If that means something doesn’t get done, or doesn’t get done the way we expected, that’s usually not the end of the world.
- Committees are sometimes very valuable, but in some circumstances, they are not the best way to get work done.
- Thank each other for what each person does. But even more importantly, make sure that people understand you care about them for who they are, not for what they do.
- Experiment! Try new things! You can try a different approach for a few months and see if it works out. There are lots of different ways that we can do things.
There are a few things we wanted to share with yearly meeting clerks and Quaker staff members specifically.
- Some meetings are very active in yearly meeting activities or other large Quaker gatherings, but many Friends will never participate in these things. We really need online opportunities like this one in which we can interact directly with Friends in other meetings and learn from one another, including across yearly meeting boundaries.
- We need you to say explicitly that it’s normal and okay if we reach a point of needing to lay the meeting down. We also need you to not pressure us into doing it if that’s not what we believe is right for us.
- The official procedures in Faith and Practice are no longer working for many Quaker meetings and churches. We need to be open to how Spirit may lead us to try new and different ways. Friends in local meetings need to experiment, and sometimes we need encouragement to understand that experimenting is something we are allowed to do, even if that means that we’re not doing things the way Faith and Practice says we’re “supposed to.”
Although the groups have officially ended, many of us have built new relationships and will stay in touch. We’re glad to have had the chance to make these kinds of connections
