On September 10, a beautiful end-of-summer day, seven of us joined for the vigil. Kathryn Gordon and Kaki Sjoggren had brought food for an impromptu picnic afterwards, for which six of us were able to stay. As we sat together on the Mall, we talked about our experiences that day and asked each other the question: why do we keep coming to the vigil? The answers were rich and diverse. Two participants share their responses here:
From Kaki:
When I started vigiling I remember feeling as if I was in a spiritual drought or famine. It seemed that Spirit was hiding from me, or I was hiding from Spirit. Now, I am feasting! I've been trying to trace the events that led to my current love affair with Spirit. They are marked by regular vigiling, scripture reading (Biblical and Buddhist), worship and meditation. I've been able to put the pressures of daily living behind me, trusting God/dess to take care of them, and to care for me. I can now live with the paradox that my life makes a difference, while I am, in truth and at my best, nothing.
From John Gallery:
I've asked myself why I continue many times. There are two reasons. The first goes back to why I started in the first place. When the NATO bombings started in Kosovo I felt a strong need to do something in response. Discussions about writing minutes or letters seemed inadequate to me: I wanted to do something visible. Several others were inclined to do the same, and so the vigils began. I think it is fair to say I was led to this in the Quaker sense of a leading. Each time I asked myself if it's time to stop, the answer I get is no. How do I get this answer? Well, I remember the story of those two Quaker women who had a leading to leave America to go to England to preach. They boarded a ship and set sail, then some time out to sea felt they had been released from their leading and so informed the captain. "Too bad," I am sure he said, unwilling to turn around and take them home. But then a storm came up and he had to turn back. I think it's something you feel in your heart the same way you feel the leading in your heart in the first place. God tells you what to do if you listen carefully and God tells you when to stop. Often God gives me these messages in circumstances. I probably wouldn't have started a vigil on my own, so the fact that God sent others to me who were so inclined was part of God's way of telling me what to do. So far God hasn't sent any message to stop, and so I continue.
A second reason is related to the question of what I get out of it. I continue to come because I get a lot out of the vigil. It has become an important source of spiritual reflection and spiritiual growth for me, quite different from meeting for worship. At meeting for worship I am silent, but my silence is a waiting silence, filled with expectation. I wait each week wondering if this is the week God will decide to use me as a messenger; I wait each week wondering if God will use someone else to deliver a message I need to hear. So my waiting carries with it an air of expectation; a readiness to speak if called to speak, a willingness to hear if called to listen.
In some sense the vigil is more like a Buddhist meditation. I am not expecting to be called to speak nor do I really expect others to speak to me, although this does happen. Just like I watch the ideas move in and out of my mind in meditation, so on the Mall I watch people and events move in and out of my vision. I just observe them and let them go by. My purpose is not to be expectant, it is to be peaceful. Just like meditation is a practice, so standing on the Mall is for me a practice of being at peace, being peace. I know now, for example, that if someone of a different persuasion confronted me in anger that I would not get angry back nor would I feel in danger. The act of standing on the mall has made me a more peaceful person and has given me a better sense of what it takes to be at peace in the face of an indifferent and often hostile world.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION ON THE
Independence Mall Vigil for PeacePlease join us at our weekly prayer vigils for peace in the world, held in front of the Liberty Bell on Market St. between 5th and 6th, every Sunday from 4 to 5 PM. For more information, contact cityquake@aol.com.
In our reports, participants share their experiences of the prayer vigils and explore beliefs related to their participation. Reports reflect the experience of each author and do not necessarily represent the beliefs or practice of all vigil participants. We welcome your responses, which are forwarded to the individual authors (when possible). We sometimes include part of a response in a future report, unless you ask us not to.
It is meaningful to us that you share in the vigils by reading these reports and in other ways, such as joining us in prayer.
Last modified: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 at 08:18 AM