for 14 August, prepared by John Gallery
Six friends gathered on Independence Mall on a gray and cool Sunday. When we began the vigils in April 1999 we had one sign. It said "Pray for peace in Kosovo" because our concern was the NATO bombing. Over the past 16 months we have added others. They express our individual way of sharing our thoughts about peace and they provide opportunities for those who join us to select a sign that reflects the message they are comfortable sharing or perhaps one that speaks to their own condition. They all revolve around peace in different ways: "There is a way to peace, peace is the way." "Love your neighbor." "Befriend." "Disarm for peace."
I bring my own sign; it's changed from time to time, but within a very narrow range of expression. For a long time it was "Pray for Peace in the World." Now it says: "Hear our Prayer: May there be peace everywhere on earth." I made this one for the crowds we expected (and who showed up) around the Liberty Bell pavillion during the Republican Convention. It was influenced by the Peace Poles I saw in Dayton, Ohio, and Richmond, Indiana, which contain the phrase, "May peace prevail on earth" in 8 or 10 different languages of the world. And it was influenced by Fred Small's song, " A Thousand Cranes," which contains the phrase, "This is our cry, this our prayer, Peace in the world."
Whenever I have changed my sign I have found that it is important for me to include the word peace. After all, that is our purpose in being there on the Mall. But, surprisingly, I have also found it important for me to include the word pray, or in this case, prayer. I know I do this because I want people to understand that we are not "protesters" (as that word is used today), that we are here for a spiritual reason. I also know I do this because I want their response to be a spiritual one as well. But, I often wonder what would happen if one of the passers-by came up to me and asked, how do I pray for peace? or how are you praying for peace while you stand here? I would be at a total loss for an answer: I would have to admit that I don't think I know how to pray.
My difficulty with prayer is influenced by my Catholic upbringing. As a child I was taught that prayer consisted of saying certain verses I had memorized while kneeling beside my bed before I went to sleep. The Lord's Prayer and Hail Mary were the verses of choice. And I dutifully said them. Even now, in moments of stress, my mind and lips will automatically recite them. But there were other kinds of prayer, too. My mother had a litany of saints to pray to, each for a specific purpose. I recall that her favorite was St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. Whenever she lost something around the house she would pray to St. Jude and when it showed up (miraculously) she would regail us with the power of St. Jude's intervention. She had a natural faith that someone listened to her prayers and would answer them that, if I ever had at all, I lost when I became a Harvard-educated intellectual. There was a third kind of prayer that I used most often as a child, which I would call conditional prayer. It took the form of "Dear God, if you help me pass that math exam next week I will never be mean to my brother again." This prayer never seemed to work. Perhaps you can only make such deals with the Devil.
When I became a Quaker and found that people used the phrase "hold in the light" rather than the word pray, I was greatly relieved. I felt I could relate to that, or at least to what I meant by holding in the light. I know that the "light" is God's grace, but imagine for a moment that it's actual light — a bright floodlight shining down to a circle of light on the floor. And imagine that the person you are concerned about is a minature figure that you can acutaly hold in the palm of your hand. And you take that person and literally hold them in the light. The light gives clarity, warmth, optimism — many good things, but it gives them on its own. I don't have to do anything. Holding someone in the light means I am not asking God for anything. I am not asking God to make something happen that I have determined in my human, and all too often shortsighted way, to be the "right" thing for that person. I'm just holdling them there. Basically I am saying two things: 1) God, please be with this person, let them know that you are there and they can depend on you; and 2) I am saying "thy will be done." I am accepting for myself and asking help for that person to accept that whatever the outcome of the particular circumstance, it is good and part of a spiritual journey. If that is prayer, then that I understand.
I also understand Meister Eckhart's advice: if you can think of nothing, thank you is enough. I start my day saying thank you God for the gift of life, and continue with thanks for the many gifts I have received. Saying thank you implies that I recognize my dependency on God, that God had something to do with the gifts I have received. It also is another way of saying "thy will be done" for I give thanks no matter what the circumstances, believing that in some way all are good. If that is prayer, that also I understand.
But still, when I read books that say one should pray, when people in my meeting say they pray, I feel they are saying something else and I still feel lost. If one day that stranger approaches me on Independence Mall and asks me how to pray, how am I praying as I stand there, what will I say? Will I say that I am asking God to make Bill Clinton see the folly of a new missle defense system, or make Bush and Gore see the wisdom of cutting the defense budget, or to make the people shooting one another in more countries of the world than I can keep track of to stop? No, I do none of that. To me, for all its worthwhileness, that's just more of me, what I want, not a surrender to God.
In some sense I believe my standing there is itself a form of prayer. I hope my mere peaceful presence says something to the people who pass by. What I want it to say is this:
Please; go home and love your children, love your families. Love your neighbors. Don't be afraid of other people because they are different from you. Talk to them; work it out; be kind to one another.
That doesn't sound like it will do much for world peace, does it? But then I am reminded of the Dalai Lama's words: "Although attempting to bring about world peace through the internal transformation of individuals is difficult, it is the only way." If each of us, individually, simply decided not to fight, not to let anger take over our heart, to act always out of love not out of fear or hate, then the world would be at peace. Isn't this all that Jesus asked?
That is my prayer.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION ON THE
Independence Mall Vigil for PeacePlease join us at our weekly prayer vigils for peace in the world, held in front of the Liberty Bell on Market St. between 5th and 6th, every Sunday from 4 to 5 PM. For more information, contact cityquake@aol.com.
In our reports, participants share their experiences of the prayer vigils and explore beliefs related to their participation. Reports reflect the experience of each author and do not necessarily represent the beliefs or practice of all vigil participants. We welcome your responses, which are forwarded to the individual authors (when possible). We sometimes include part of a response in a future report, unless you ask us not to.
It is meaningful to us that you share in the vigils by reading these reports and in other ways, such as joining us in prayer.
Last modified: Wednesday, February 18, 2004 at 08:18 AM