Bullying Presentation to Quaker Teachers
October 27, 2003 by Penny Colgan-Davis

These Notes from Penny Colgan-Davis's Bullying Presentation to Quaker Teachers, October 27, 2003 downloadable in Adobe 3.0

1. Thank you for the invitation—talking to the convinced and active

2. Definition of bullying

According to Dan Olweus, bullying is aggressive or intentional harm, carried out repeatedly and over time, occurring in relationships characterized by an imbalance of power.

3. Prevalence:

Bullying is the most common form of violence in our society. Between 15 and 30% of students report being bullies or their targets.

Boys are exposed to more physical bullying than girls, but non-physical harassment is the most common form of bullying (one reason why it’s often hard to see). One study by Froschl and Gropper, reported in the May, 1999 issue of Ed. Leadership of 25 K-3 grade classrooms in diverse communities of NYC and Framingham, MA found that boys initiated 3X the number of bullying acts than girls. They also found that this gender differential did not go un-noticed, as seen in comments by girls about “boys are like that...”

Bullying in upper grades is becoming more sexualized, and homophobic bullying seems to be on the rise.

According to the AMA, approximately 3.2 million children are victims of moderate or serious bullying each year and, according to the NEA, an estimated 160,000 children miss school every day for fear of attack or intimation.

Bullying is not just an urban issue; it is found in rural and suburban schools at the same level and sometimes higher levels because of the homogeneity of the population and lack of tolerance for difference. There is no positive association between the level of bullying and school or class size. In fact, smaller schools are more prone to bullying because there is less diversity and tolerance for it.

Direct physical bullying increases throughout elementary school, peaks in MS and declines in US. Verbal abuse (name calling and shunning) at the MS and HS level remains constant.

The highest incidence of bullying occurs at the beginning of the school year because it’s a vulnerable time for new kids, especially at the US level when bullies are looking for targets and new kids are invisible.

Most bullying is considered “proactive aggression,” meaning not in retaliation of a specific behavior.

Parents and teachers are relatively unaware of the magnitude of bullying. In the F&G study, researchers found that 71% of the time, teachers were uninvolved or ignored attacks. Kids are very aware, however, and often feel the “victims deserved it” and that the teachers ignored it.

Returned aggression does not seem to work, but excites physical bullies to more attacks.

4. Where do you think it happens most? According to reports from students, it happens mostly where teachers are not in force—the playground, hallways, bathrooms and cafeteria. We put the least powerful and least authoritative people in charge (often aides), to supervise too many kids in a wide-range of age. This is a recipe for disaster!

5. Think of a bully and a target.

6. Bullies tend to be:

The kids we like best (good at “getting over” on teachers)

Need to feel powerful and in control

Aggressive and competitive

Come from homes where physical punishment is used and where children are taught to strike back physically as a way to handle a problem and where parental involvement and warmth are lacking.

Show lack in empathy, impulse control, problem solving and anger management

Apt to break other school rules

Value the rewards they get for aggression, such as attention, control and material possessions (stolen money, lunches, etc.)

Are not anxious insecure children, but have positive—often unrealistic self-images

Tend to lack guilt and refuse to accept responsibility for their behavior (thus the importance of a rule such as: we are responsible for the consequences of our actions, not just the intent)

Tend to be at least average to above-average academically (dispelling the myth of low academic skill)

Often popular and are often afforded special consideration, especially by peers and teachers

Not loners, often have a small network of peers who encourage, admire and model their behavior after him/her

High risk of later involvement in criminal justice system—60% of 2nd graders identified as bullies in one study were convicted felons by age 24

One study—amount of violent TV watching at age 8 was the best predictor for later aggression

Can separate home from school and be taught responsible school behavior; their behavior does not change with traditional therapy but requires specific training to increase skill deficits and correct thinking errors (“my way or the highway, winning is everything, if someone disagrees, they are putting me down, don’t trust anyone, lie and be secretive, blame others, refuse to admit wrongdoing, feel superior, no sense of mutuality”)

Important to catch them being good

7. Targets tend to be:

The kids we like least

Can be a passive target or a provocative one

Passive targets lack social skills, cry easily, tend to come from homes where they are over-protected, lack strategies, yield easily to bullying, likely to be anxious and insecure, physically weaker, usually picks one adult to come to and are alone, which makes them even more convenient as a target

Provocative targets. Smaller group- often difficult to recognize, fight back and lose, easily aroused emotionally, maintain the conflict, may be ADHD, the kids we don’t like either because they annoy us

Major defining characteristic of targets is that they tend to be physically weaker than their peers.

Once a child is subject to repeated bullying, s/he becomes more isolated as peers reject him/her.

Tend to have lower self-esteem and feel more lonely, anxious and insecure

See school as unsafe and unhappy, tend to have more learning problems

Bullying quickly becomes a vicious cycle

8. What research says about reducing bullying

When adults become actively involved in intervening, bullying behavior decreases

Rigby (Australian researcher) looked at 13 evaluative studies of programs, found similarities: education of staff and community, social skills training (empathy, assertiveness, anger management), increased monitoring of student behavior, way (a clear process) for kids to get help, plan to deal with bullies

9. Successful programs:

Closely related to how thoroughly programs were implemented in school, not the details of the program, but the solid commitment of the staff was what counted

Mainly among younger children, less success with older kids

Cooperative teaching methods appear to have resulted in a small improvement in children’s relations (F&G study recommended teachers creating and nurturing cross-difference/gender relations and friendships as a way to diminish bullying behavior)

Greater the # of teachers supervising during breaks and transition times, the lower the level of bully/target problems. This means teachers will have to give up some of their free time, but will get back much in terms of less time devoted to debriefing “hard” recesses. (Tell story of 2nd grade recess and what we do now in first six weeks of school.)

No clear difference YET to prove that programs that emphasize attention to rules as opposed to problem solving are better—degree of staff consensus and implementation is what determines success

10. We suggest:

Work beforehand with all adults (teachers, aides, parents, staff, admin. folks) on how to spot and intervene and on their attitudes about bullying. This will be the hardest work!

Collect data from kids and parents (map of school, questionnaires)

Spend time on friendship and social skill training with an emphasis on how it looks, communication skills, anger management, and problem solving skills

Explore differences to build tolerance and then appreciation for them. If we’re all alike, there’s something wrong!

Courage- how to have the courage to do the right thing- help kids make agreements about how they will “remind” themselves to step in. It’s a lot easier when more than one person does it!

Rule making- not the teacher’s rules, but the whole class’ rules, based upon their hopes and dreams for the year. “If this is what we hope and dream, then how will we have to treat each other?”

Examine teasing and bullying as topics- what are people’s experiences, etc., to make it a discussable topic.

School-wide policy which is relentlessly follow-up on

Remember there are 3 constituencies who need help: the target (protection and training and friends), the bully (rethink thinking, clear rules and consequences), and bystanders (focus on their responsibility and where they will get help and find the courage).

11. King’s quote-- “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”

For more information on the Nonviolence and Children Working Group and for ideas, workshops, and training on community building, discernment, and conflict resolution, intergenerational workshops on “Bullying,” “Befriending Feelings” and “Self and Earth Esteem,” resources for First Day Teachers and parents on cooperative games and helping children become peacemakers, please contact:

This page last updated September 18, 2006