Coming of Age at Central Philadelphia Meeting

After attending our neighbor’s Bat Mitzvah 4 years ago I asked my daughter Megan if she would like to do something similar. Without hesitation she said, “Yes.” Since she was 12 at the time, I wondered out loud if she would want to do it the following year. With equal certainty she replied, “No.” I explained that the whole process would take about a year and I asked her to let me know when she was ready. Over the next couple of years she attended several more Bat and Bar Mitzvahs of classmates and neighbors.

A few months after Megan turned 15 she said she was ready. We had several conversations about what it might be like, what Megan wanted and how to make it happen. I suggested a few people she might ask to guide her through this process from our Quaker meeting (Central Philadelphia Monthly Meeting). At first she did not feel comfortable with this idea, since she really did not know any of them well. Eventually she agreed to meet with one of them just to talk about the possibilities. Megan set up the meeting herself and the next thing I knew she was meeting weekly with Pat McBee, an elder, and had gotten her friend and age-mate Matt to come along for the ride. That was in September, 2003 The Meeting for Worship, ceremony and celebration happened the following September.

Both Matt and Megan were already very active with the Young Friends group of the Yearly Meeting and attended all the programs and weekends they could. This, however, was different, just the two of them studying and learning about what it means to be a Friend. Although I was not privy to most of what they did or talked about, I know that they practiced different ways of centering and worshipping. They also read and discussed Faith and Practice.

These weekly meetings ended shortly after school finished for the year, but Megan contemplated writing a paper over the summer and took her copy of Faith & Practice with her every where we went. At one point she got her Dad and I as well as her grandparents involved in discussing what it meant to be a Quaker and a Christian. Later she got us all talking about prayer. She and I spent an hour or two discussing what she wanted to write about, and she spent several more reading, taking notes and jotting down ideas. In the end, however, she decided not to write a formal paper and considered the work she’d done on it as part of the learning experience.

Sometime over the summer I began talking with Matt’s mother about the ceremony and celebration for this event. We agreed on a date that would work for everyone and talked a little about what we wanted to have happen. Carolyn asked if Matt and Megan would be writing letters to the Meeting asking for membership. We asked them what was their intention. To help figure this part out both sets of parents met with Pat McBee, Matt and Megan. Each of the adults shared the history of their own journey to becoming Quakers and members of Central Philadelphia Mo. Meeting After some discussion both Megan and Mathew decided that they would not seek membership since they would be leaving for college in the not-to-distant future. They felt, since they are both already associate members, they would wait to see where they were living at age 25 when they will need to decide whether to become full-fledged members of CPMM or join the meeting where they would be living.

About a month before the event was scheduled we all met again to plan the logistics and divvy up the tasks for food, announcements and what-not, as well as finalize the plans for the ceremony/meeting for worship and celebration. Although it was not an official event of the Meeting, we invited everyone to attend. A number of meeting members did come, joining the host of family, friends and neighbors. There was a large group of Young Friends in evidence, swelling the crowd to 200 or more.

The meeting for worship started with a short program. Pat McBee introduced herself and told her version of how this had come to be and some bout what they had done together for a year. She then said a few words describing Quaker worship, and explained that Matt and Megan would each speak briefly out of the silence. After they did so, we settled into the silence. The worship was rich and deep and there were many messages. It went on for about an hour and a half and could easily gone on for another 30 minutes.

Afterwards we ate and danced and talked and ate some more. It was a celebration, indeed! Even so, I don’t think I am alone in realizing that it is the worship that will be remembered most. Like the messages at a wedding, people spoke right from their hearts, sharing their feelings of love and admiration for, and connectedness to these two wonderful young Friends. Many also shared stories and remembrances from their growing up years. There were tears and laughter and a rambling message from the one grandfather alive and able to be there. It was a meaningful experience for everyone who attended, and I am sure it will be a treasured memory for Megan and Matthew. There is no doubt in my mind, that they are Quakers and will always carry this faith in their hearts wherever their journeys take them.

Amy Kietzman,
Philadelphia, PA

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